tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post8915205079071353796..comments2024-03-28T09:25:14.379+00:00Comments on Veg Plotting: Red Nose Day - Gardening Jokes Anyone?VPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02732971362066784175noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-82389663873477306162009-03-14T22:04:00.000+00:002009-03-14T22:04:00.000+00:00Hi everyone - thanks for your all of your jokes - ...Hi everyone - thanks for your all of your jokes - I've been giggling a lot each time I come and have a look at this post :D<BR/><BR/>You've 'donated' 46 jokes (including my initial 3 + 1 duplicate), which makes £23.00, which I'll round up to £25 as the picture conjured up by Joy's comment made me giggle too!<BR/><BR/>The RND event this year has raised nearly £58 million so far, the highest total ever raised - so much for the credit crunch!VPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02732971362066784175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-61373640739625837882009-03-14T15:04:00.000+00:002009-03-14T15:04:00.000+00:00Your blog friends would see you broke! xYour blog friends would see you broke! xthis is my patchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02865567572989902864noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-4673864334528268042009-03-14T09:30:00.000+00:002009-03-14T09:30:00.000+00:00RND was v. funny on tv last night(especially the E...RND was v. funny on tv last night(especially the England football team skit.), love the jokes here...<BR/><BR/>What's green and loud?<BR/>A froghorn...Trisha xxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08241735304163665205noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-64346722837935475942009-03-14T09:28:00.000+00:002009-03-14T09:28:00.000+00:00What's green and hairy and goes up and down all da...What's green and hairy and goes up and down all day?<BR/><BR/>A Gooseberry in a lift.Davehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13701889800625191274noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-28848192617255127712009-03-13T23:38:00.000+00:002009-03-13T23:38:00.000+00:00contribution from Compostgirl for RND 09Why did th...contribution from Compostgirl for RND 09<BR/><BR/>Why did the banana go to the Drs?<BR/>Because it was not peeling very well!Compostwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09028585447065282738noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-22148099484527302032009-03-13T23:05:00.000+00:002009-03-13T23:05:00.000+00:00All my best ones have already gone :(I know a coup...All my best ones have already gone :(<BR/><BR/>I know a couple more though ...<BR/><BR/>A magical tractor was driving down the road, and it turned into a field.<BR/><BR/>My neighbour asked if he could borrow my lawnmower, and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.<BR/><BR/>What's green and goes to summer camp?<BR/>A brussels scout.Juliethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14861589817615423847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-80830987392343412912009-03-13T22:19:00.000+00:002009-03-13T22:19:00.000+00:00Grass is just a flower bed in waiting.Why do melon...Grass is just a flower bed in waiting.<BR/><BR/>Why do melons have fancy weddings?<BR/> Because they cantaloupe.<BR/><BR/>New gardeners learn by by trowel and error. <BR/><BR/>A toddler who was found chewing on a slug. <BR/>After the initial surge of disgust the parent said,<BR/>"Well . . . What does it taste like?"<BR/>"Worms," was the reply. <BR/><BR/>If you're a gardener you might call yourself a 'plant manager'.Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02114199768103222510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-81183637321875313402009-03-13T20:18:00.000+00:002009-03-13T20:18:00.000+00:00Oh, Dave stole the only one I could think of! I've...Oh, Dave stole the only one I could think of! I've consulted with my would-be comedian nine-year old and have these offerings:<BR/><BR/>What's red and invisible?<BR/>No tomatoes<BR/><BR/>What's red and square?<BR/>A banana in disguise<BR/><BR/>What do you get if you cross a dog with a daisy?<BR/>A collie-flower.<BR/><BR/>I miss Red Nose Day!Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16642836504821695236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-82994187963468634292009-03-13T19:44:00.000+00:002009-03-13T19:44:00.000+00:00Thanks for the laughs and groans today, VP. I had...Thanks for the laughs and groans today, VP. I had never heard of Red Nose Day either.<BR/><BR/>I'm not good at remembering jokes; the only two I can think of right now are ones my young grandkids have repeated:<BR/><BR/>What's the smallest room in the world?<BR/>Ans: A Mush-room!<BR/><BR/>What is a ghost's favorite fruit?<BR/>Ans: Boo-berries.<BR/><BR/>Have a great weekend:)Rosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01384059342847120951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-56923987032311250272009-03-13T19:43:00.000+00:002009-03-13T19:43:00.000+00:00What a coincidence - this morning my daughter, who...What a coincidence - this morning my daughter, who is off school today, came up to me to tell me a joke. Here it is: "Knock, knock"<BR/>"Who's there?"<BR/>"Lettuce."<BR/>"Lettuce in, it's cold out here!"Mr. McGregor's Daughterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05911409327006498766noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-53069074463989997432009-03-13T19:26:00.000+00:002009-03-13T19:26:00.000+00:00Dave, do I detect another Vicar of Dibley fan? I'm...Dave, do I detect another Vicar of Dibley fan? I'm terrible at telling structured jokes, though I'm pretty good off-the-cuff.Monica the Garden Faeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06369882350990949968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-17884962095318348042009-03-13T18:12:00.000+00:002009-03-13T18:12:00.000+00:00Did you hear the contemporary artist who shocked t...Did you hear the contemporary artist who shocked the artworld with his sculpture of Brassica rapa Rapifera Group?<BR/><BR/>He was awarded the Turnip Prize.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-22015886357531161742009-03-13T17:59:00.000+00:002009-03-13T17:59:00.000+00:00....I love the pumpkin pi joke! Definately the bes.......I love the pumpkin pi joke! Definately the best one so far. Great idea VP.Nutty Gnomehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06146296943319504785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-83253978033227617662009-03-13T17:50:00.000+00:002009-03-13T17:50:00.000+00:00Hi VPWhat do you get if you cross Ilkley's most fa...Hi VP<BR/>What do you get if you cross Ilkley's most famous gardening son with an object of bad taste?<BR/><BR/>Alan KitschmarshAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-70721662472003770412009-03-13T16:51:00.000+00:002009-03-13T16:51:00.000+00:00Everyone has these on their face?.......Tulips:: g...Everyone has these on their face?<BR/>.<BR/>.<BR/>.<BR/>.<BR/>.<BR/>.<BR/>.<BR/>Tulips<BR/><BR/>:: groans ::<BR/><BR/>And another:<BR/><BR/>What did the carrot say to the wheat?<BR/>.<BR/>.<BR/>.<BR/>.<BR/>.<BR/>Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet. <BR/><BR/>Last one!<BR/><BR/>Why are husbands like lawn mowers?<BR/>.<BR/>.<BR/>.<BR/>.<BR/>. <BR/>They are difficult to get started, emit foul smells,<BR/>and don't work half the time.Zoëhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09838367166662822058noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-10892790744533017412009-03-13T16:22:00.000+00:002009-03-13T16:22:00.000+00:00Great idea VP :) Q: What does the letter "A" have ...Great idea VP :) <BR/><BR/>Q: What does the letter "A" have in common with a flower?<BR/><BR/>A: They both have bees going after them.<BR/><BR/>Boom,boom !Annahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10794392333038962798noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-71151920650025858912009-03-13T15:53:00.000+00:002009-03-13T15:53:00.000+00:00Q. Why did the bull rush?A. Because he saw the cow...Q. Why did the bull rush?<BR/>A. Because he saw the cow slip<BR/><BR/>Q. How do you hide an elephant in a cherry tree?<BR/>A. Paint his toe nails red<BR/><BR/>Q. Why did the radish blush?<BR/>A. Because he saw the salad dressing<BR/><BR/>The old ones are the best?<BR/><BR/>Well done VP :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-52816370234774996142009-03-13T14:32:00.000+00:002009-03-13T14:32:00.000+00:00What's brown and Sticky?A stick.What's brown and Sticky?<BR/>A stick.Davehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13701889800625191274noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-91140563472048470202009-03-13T13:50:00.000+00:002009-03-13T13:50:00.000+00:00My wife's a water sign. I'm an earth sign. Togeth...My wife's a water sign. I'm an earth sign. <BR/>Together we make mud. <BR/>- Rodney Dangerfield <BR/><BR/>What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?<BR/>Pumpkin pi. (Excuse me but I am a Math teacher ...)<BR/><BR/>A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill<BR/>except for learning how to grow in rows.<BR/>- Doug Larson<BR/><BR/>Everyone has these on their face?<BR/>Tulips<BR/><BR/>The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.<BR/><BR/>My mother's menu consisted of two choices: <BR/>Take it or leave it.<BR/>- Buddy Hackett<BR/><BR/>God made rainy days, so gardeners could get the housework done.<BR/><BR/>Hehehe ...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-19976667558970373942009-03-13T12:55:00.000+00:002009-03-13T12:55:00.000+00:00I love these jokes VP...they remind me of the litt...I love these jokes VP...they remind me of the little book of jokes my son had as a small child. He delighted in telling them.<BR/>Here's one!!<BR/><BR/>What do you call a stolen yam?<BR/>A hot potato.<BR/><BR/>Gail<BR/><BR/>ps I hadn't heard of Red Nose Day before?Gailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16194325535496408116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-43533329960127715662009-03-13T12:44:00.000+00:002009-03-13T12:44:00.000+00:00Ha ha, very good - here's few more for red nose da...Ha ha, very good - here's few more for red nose day!<BR/><BR/>A little boy goes up to an old gardener and says "what do you put on your rhubarb?". "Well, usually rotted horse manure" replies the gardener. " we have custard on ours" says the boy.<BR/><BR/>Did you hear about the successful bonsai tree grower? He got so good he ended up looking for a house with a smaller garden.<BR/><BR/>How do you stop moles digging in your garden? Hide their shovels!<BR/><BR/>A small boy is helping his dad dig up potatotes. " what I want to know" he says, "is why you buried the darn things in the first place"<BR/><BR/>What sort of animal is a slug? A snail with a housing problem.<BR/><BR/>Gardener to a friend: " do you know where I could get some slug pellets?" Friend: "have you tried Boots?" Gardener: "I want to poisen them, not kick them to death".<BR/><BR/>Two slugs are slithering along the pavement. They go round a corner and get stuck behind two snails. " oh no" says one "caravans!"<BR/><BR/>Man to neighbour: "can I borrow your lawnmower?" Neighbour: "No, she's not home yet"<BR/><BR/>Enough!<BR/>Have a good, fun day!Nutty Gnomehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06146296943319504785noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-41380172282936753132009-03-13T12:40:00.000+00:002009-03-13T12:40:00.000+00:00VP .. "me outside last night in my jammies and big...VP .. "me outside last night in my jammies and big PINK robe .. tripod and camera trying to get a picture of the golden moon last night" now THAT was FUNNY : )CanadianGardenJoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18130452541076704075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4793702278130036246.post-46868882800904135082009-03-13T12:25:00.000+00:002009-03-13T12:25:00.000+00:00Thank you for the morning chuckle VP!Thank you for the morning chuckle VP!garden girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13284047851881823280noreply@blogger.com