- Classic = It may be new, but it's really hard to tell because it looks just like any other of its kind
- Easy to grow = Ha ha ha! We're looking at really good profits at these prices!
- Exclusive = Nobody will touch this with a bargepole apart from us OR we've bred this ourselves and haven't sold it on to anyone yet
- F1 = we can sell this to you at a much higher price and hey, because any seeds produced don't come true, we can sell it to you again next year
- Hurry, this variety has been discontinued = we're flogging a dead horse here
- Mid season half price sale = we've got more of these than we know what to do with OR they're not selling very well
- Mixed or Shades = contains at least one colour you don't want
- Pictured as part of an enormous construction = we've put 10x as many plants in here as you would, so you can't really tell how well it flowers and/or trails
- Pictured with a small child for comparison = it's not really as big as it seems
- Reintroduced = we're still going to sell this to you as if it's a new plant. In fact we'll say New in the accompanying description, so that it's clear
- Unusual = it's ugly and we don't really understand why anyone would buy this
- World's first + cheap price = we've been trawling through our back catalogue to find something we hope you've forgotten we had
Delicious xxxxxs! Frivolous blooms drench the lush foliage in dreamy shades of coral, orchid rose, salmon, pink and white all through the summer until the first frosts. Enjoy their breathtaking displays in...
Or how about (this is a different bedding plant which isn't edible either, though it did make me think of cauliflowers):
Imagine hundreds of dazzling florets spilling over your hanging baskets, cascading from xxxxx [= a trade marked item which would give the catalogue away - Ed] and bubbling from patio containers right through the summer months...
I could go on, but I've got the giggles again. What's the best 'cataloguespeak' you've found so far?
Editor's Note: Photographic evidence withheld in order to protect any innocents which may be lurking in VP's catalogue pile.