Phantom Flan Flinging *

Those of you reading yesterday may have thought I'd flipped and gone off into some sort of surreal fantasy. Well, I was feeling the same way myself. I'm still not sure if I've been dreaming all of this, but the constant pinching of myself assures me that I really am here.

Yes, a TV researcher did come to choir on Monday evening.

Yes, she did invite us over for a custard pie fight last night.

Yes, I did go - with 2 other choir members, a friend, plus 10 people from Neston Players who'd also had a similar invitation Monday lunchtime.

Unfortunately I can't show you anything of the fight itself - you'll have to believe me that the pictured innocuous looking building does indeed house a television studio. I'm not allowed to publish any photos until the programme is aired - around September time. The surrealness continued well into yesterday evening - the studio is also part of a massive Ministry of Defence complex, completely deserted when we arrived. It could have been the setting for a) an initiative test for us (which we were doing OK at, having assembled at the right place in spite of the directions being hopelessly wrong and the promised Volkswagen Beetle parked outside nowhere to be seen); or b) a very wobbly Dr Who story, probably dating back to the 1970s with Jon Pertwee or Tom Baker; or c) a James Bond Film - well a girl can dream can't she? We finally managed to locate the studio door and found we actually were in d) a very chilly TV studio within a very messy warehouse. It turned out that filming was running late - could we come back in an hour as they're shooting some time lapse at the moment? Luckily Kath lives close by so we decamped to hers for tea and a warm fire. On the way out, the previously invisible security guards had restationed themselves by the gate - getting out was much harder than getting in!

On our return, the studio waiting area had been transformed into a hive of custard pie making - 12 inch round flan cases topped with lashings of squirty sweet cream. The production team were in a frenzy and for once the Runners were living up to their job title. Near accidents were (disappointingly) avoided on a regular basis. Under bright studio lights at the far end of the warehouse, 2 tables were literally groaning under the weight of custard pies. A quick Health & Safety lecture, then the director came over and took us through what he wanted us to do. Laughing a lot was to be the main thing - before, during and after the fight. Then we met the Executive Producer - another Health & Safety lecture (!), plus a warning not too throw too high as they didn't want us to damage the overhead camera.

We were then led onto the set, limboing slightly under the camera boom to get there. We were lined up against the wall - we must have looked like a very strange unmatching police identity parade to our onlookers. A slight rearranagement of the players to form the most aesthetically pleasing shot, then the static cameramen did lots of staring enigmatically into his viewfinder, the director looked at his monitor at the side of the set, 2 moving cameramen recorded everything, the rest of the production team got out their digital cameras. All except one, he stepped in with his clapperboard to announce Take 1 - how cool is that!

We needed 2 takes for the 'before' shot, but after that we were pros and did everything else in one take. There was a bit of a tense 'schoolteam picking' moment as were divided into 2 groups - with much defection and taunting going on between the teams. My team were much more brazen - we lined up in front of our table where the main action was to be, whilst most of the others (except one brave lass - soon to be our prime target) cowered behind theirs. Another clack of the clapperboard and we were off, including several of the production team. Within seconds it was cake carnage and we were quickly covered from head to toe, front and back in a sticky, gooey mess. It takes about 10 minutes for 20 people to throw 1000 flans at each other, including picking choice pieces off the floor to throw again. My friend Chris was sporting a particularly fetching flan hat at the end of it all.

Another lineup for the 'after' shot and that was that. We were handed loads of wet wipes to get rid of the worst of our new facial makeup. I was glad of a complete change of clothes - even so I shed lumps of cake everywhere on the way home. I decided to treat myself to a bath instead of my usual shower. This revealed cake in some most unexpected places. However, today I think my hair has a more lustrous sheen and body to it - must have been all of that cream 'conditioner'.

Before the shoot I was worried that trying to laugh on somebody else's whim wouldn't work - it would be too forced or not at all. However, the banter of my fellow flan flingers and the surrealness of the situation soon took hold and I laughed until I ached. It was FUN! When can I do it again?

* = A regular feature on Tiswas, a Saturday morning TV programme of my childhood and an apt title for this post seeing I can't show you any of the action yet.

Comments

  1. dND30 April 2008 at 22:36

    Oh what fun! Things like that don't come up everyday do they.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Barbara30 April 2008 at 23:07

    I CANNOT wait to see this - what fun!

    ReplyDelete
  3. david mcmahon30 April 2008 at 23:18

    Can I be the president of you `flan' club?

    Beautiful orchids in your O post, as well.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Aunt Debbi/kurts mom1 May 2008 at 04:32

    That is priceless. The monkeys would have been key players and covered in goo. Flan as conditioner? Who knew.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Rose1 May 2008 at 05:26

    Sounds like so much fun! And think of all the calories you must have lost while laughing!

    I just noticed--I know I have left comments in the last couple days that seemed to have disappeared. Oh well, they probably weren't very clever or insightful anyway. But did want to tell you the picture of the cat at the bar in an earlier post was priceless.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous1 May 2008 at 11:16

    That sounds such fun! I wish I could have been there - you will tell us when it's going to come on, won't you?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mr. McGregor's Daughter1 May 2008 at 18:56

    I blame it on your proximity to Stonehenge & all those floating orbs of light. Nothing like that ever happens around here.

    ReplyDelete
  8. VP7 May 2008 at 13:32

    dnd - no they don't and I believe they should be grabbed with both hands. Literally in this case!

    Starnitesky - it should be shown in Septmeber

    David - of course!

    Deb - I think there's a bit of the monkey in all of us!

    Rose - we must of lost loads of them! Shame I missed your comments, I do enjoy hearing from you

    Lisa - it was and I will!

    MMD - you could be right, we're even closer to Avebury ;)

    ReplyDelete

New comments are not allowed.

Your essential reads

That blue flower: A spring spotter's guide

Image
Spring is a prime time for blue flowers and my daily walks currently have several from the same plant family* lining the local footpaths. As I walked past the Donkey Field the other day, I overheard some children ask their parents** what the pictured blue flower was. It reminded me it's often mistaken for those other familial blues and this time was no different, as they said it was forget-me-not, instead of the green alkanet it actually is. As well as similar flowers, most of these plants are hairy in their nature, flower around the same time, and favour damp, shady places. Many of them are great for pollinators too, especially bees and this week's warm weather has certainly drawn them to these flowers. This makes it even more likely for these plants to be mistaken for each other and it's a great opportunity for me to put together a spotter's guide in case you find the same flowers on your outings. Staying with green alkanet, the key features which set it
Read more

Jack Go To Bed At Noon

Image
Last year this rather exotic looking flower appeared on mine and several other allotments for the first time. Having been stumped (again) by Mr Allotment Warden as to its identity, I rushed home to find out what it was. It's salsify, aka the marvellous Jack Go To Bed At Noon - named as such because its flowers always close by midday. Here you can see both open and closed flowers - making it seem even more exotic and alien than in the first picture. I think this must be the cultivated version because the flower in my Francis Rose Wild Flower Key looks exactly the same in form, but is bright yellow in colour and called meadow salsify . Its other common name is Goatsbeard, which must be a nod to the fantastic dandelion-like clock which forms the seed head. With 'parachutes' like those shown above, who knows how far our plotted plants came from. I rather like the photographic dissection of the seedhead found in this link . Salsify is edible: its lateral shoots and fl
Read more

Red Nose Day - Gardening Jokes Anyone?

Image
The nation goes ever so slightly bonkers on Red Nose Day - hurrah! Previously, it's been very easy to join in - usually via a dress down day at work plus lots of people up to mad things at the station and in the office. Everyone smiling for once - it's a real feel good day and all in a good cause. This year's different - every day's a dress down day for me now - my friend L suggested yesterday that perhaps I could have a dress up day instead and whilst that's a good idea, I confess that ballgowns and tiaras don't really feature in my wardrobe: scruffy student's always been my favourite look. So my Red Nose Day contribution for this year is to compile a list of gardening related jokes. For each one (clean ones only please) you leave in the comments below, I'll make a donation of 50p to the cause. Here's a few for starters just to get you warmed up: Q Why do potatoes make good detectives? A Because they keep their eyes peeled. Q What did the grape
Read more

Salad Days: Mastering Lettuce

Image
I've decided one of my salad challenges for this year is to grow as many lettuce varieties as I can, ready for the publication of my planned Factsheet* later on. The idea is to grow as many of the Tried and Trusted lettuce varieties last year's Salad Challengers helped compile, then provide a visual guide and as many lettuce facts as I can muster. So far I've found around half of those listed**. Then naturally whilst I was out searching - because such is the way with seeds - a number of other varieties found their way home too ;) A couple of weeks ago I sowed 22 varieties***. Just the simple act of sowing them has me intrigued. Why are some lettuce seeds black and others white****? They split into about half white to half black in my sample and as far as I can tell it's nothing to do with whether they're a type of cos, iceberg, or whatever. I sowed them indoors and popped them into a propagator on the windowsill. The soil's too cold outside for sowing
Read more

VPs VIPs: Derry Watkins of Special Plants

Image
Last week I had the pleasure of visiting Derry Watkins at her home, garden and nursery - the acclaimed Special Plants - just a few miles along the road from me. I first met Derry at one of her open garden days last year and was keen to find out more about her wonderful garden and running an independent nursery. She specialises in tender perennials and regularly goes on plant hunting trips to find new treasures, particularly in South Africa. As well as running Special Plants and opening her garden under the NGS scheme , Derry holds day courses at her nursery, hosts Special Tuesdays from April until September, lectures and has written a couple of books. How did you find your way from Connecticut to the UK? I'd started a biodynamic vegetable garden in Connecticut and we used to have people come along at weekends to help out. A particular young man turned up: he returned many times and at the end of the summer I married him. So it was all down to love? Isn't that the
Read more

#mygardenrightnow: heading into summer with the Chelsea Fringe

Image
Ahhhhhh, that's better! I love walking through dewy grass in bare feet, not that there's much in the way of grass on my back lawn this weekend. My wild and woolly lawn has morphed into meadow of sorts this month, which even NAH admits looks attractive*. It's also proved a great source for my Flowers for mum project so far, yielding self-sown perennial cornflowers, lamb's ears, and lemon balm in addition to the blooms you can see. These originated from elsewhere in the garden, the ox-eye daisies must have blown in from the A350 nearby. * = he got very stroppy about the weeds aka self-sown foxgloves in the lawn one year, so he's come along a bit since then. Skimble's demanding to say hello to you too. He does enjoy the patio when it warms up. If the embedded video doesn't work try this link instead. The Nectaroscordum are a revelation. I planted the bulbs around 2 years ago, but it's only this year they've bloomed properly. The bee
Read more

The Resilient Garden

Image
  Part of Tom Massey's Resilient Garden at RHS Hampton Court I've been pondering VP Gardens a lot lately. Last year's drought conditions set me off initially, then our harsher than usual winter combined with this summer's flip and flop weather means the thinking continues. It's a huge topic which I freely admit I'm struggling to get my head around. Tom Massey's Resilient Garden  at Hampton Court recently  tackled this topic brilliantly and was a timely interlude which gave me much food for thought. There he encapsulated the detailed research he'd found which informed both his show garden and book of the same name. I think it's one of the most important show gardens I've ever seen. It's clear the way I garden needs to change so that I have my own resilient garden. I haven't worked out the exact details yet, but Tom's book plus a couple of others (see below), alongside the rainwater management handout from the show garden's  sponso
Read more

Testing Times: Tomatoes

Image
  I've run a couple of tomato trials this year. The first is a revisit of the biochar trial with Oxford University I attempted some years ago (with a different organisation this time), and the second is a trial of a water gadget called Plantsurge which I was given to try at Malvern Spring Show earlier this year. Most of you have probably heard of biochar already and the claim that this inert, carbon-rich material can help soil fertility and plant health. The RHS information in the above link says results can be mixed, with reduced effects found in alkaline soils. This may help to explain the lack of difference I found in my previous trial as VP Gardens is on a lime-rich soil. Plantsurge is a different beast altogether. It's a strong magnet which is attached to a hosepipe as shown in the photo above. It's claimed that it softens water, with the result more like watering with rainwater. The higher nitrogen found in rainwater is thought to be beneficial to plants. Gardener
Read more

Chelsea Fringe 2014: Shows of Hands - Episode I

Image
The gloves NAH used to build the raised bed . The effects are L to R, top to bottom:  Original photo, Warhol, HDR, Green tint, B&W, Posterize, Boost, Cross process and Sepia Welcome to Shows of Hands - my Chelsea Fringe project for 2014! As you can see I've been having a bit of a play around in Pic Monkey for my first contribution. You're welcome to join in between now and 8th June 2014. The idea behind this year's project is to highlight the tool most precious to a gardener: their hands. How do I take part? It's simple. All you need to do is take a photo of hand(s) in a gardening context and then share it via your blog or other social media (such as Twitter or Facebook), then make sure I know you've done so. I've set up Mr Linky below for your blog contributions. The Chelsea Fringe photo on the right sidebar links to this post, so you can easily find it again when you're ready to add your contribution. If you share your photo on Twitter,
Read more

Make Use of Mildew

Image
On my garden patrol this morning I spotted some powdery mildew on a couple of my new Verbena bonariensis plants. I suppose it was almost inevitable as I prefer to grow my plants hard - this means no water for them unless they look absolutely desperate. This approach means plants root themselves more deeply and have a better chance of survival during spells of dry weather like we've had lately. However, it also means I run the risk of problems like today's, especially with any garden newbies planted late in the season. We've had a good drop of rain overnight, so this should help my plants survive. I'll mulch them later today to help lock in the moisture as it's water stress which encourages the mildew to take hold. I've also removed the infected leaves and sprayed the rest with a milky drink.* I'm also pleased to find there's a use for my infected leaves. Oliver Ellingham at Reading University has started a PhD - sponsored by the RHS - researchi
Read more