Red Nose Day: Salad Humour

It's Red Nose Day... with a tomato!

 We break from our traditional Garden Bloggers' Blooms Day broadcast to bring you some salad based humour in honour of today's Red Nose Day in aid of Comic Relief...

 For starters, how about a quick round of an alternative Gardeners' Question Time?

 Q Why did the tomato turn red?
A Because it saw the salad dressing 

 Q: What is small, red and whispers?
A: A hoarse radish

 Q: Why did the tomato go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn't find a date

 And then there's...

Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and you'll find out.

 A man walks into the doctor's office with a banana stuck in one of his ears, a head of lettuce in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril.

The man says, "Doctor, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."

 BOOM BOOM!

 And finally - a humorous quotation to round things off...

"Knowledge is knowing the tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in your fruit salad." Miles Kington.

 Do you have a joke or quotation of a salad-y nature you can add in the Comments below?

Update: Red Nose Day raised over £75 million last night - not bad for a bright idea which started 25 years ago...

Comments

  1. Jill Anderson15 March 2013 at 08:37

    Good to have a giggle at the start of the day.... thanks Michelle!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jo15 March 2013 at 12:19

    Groan. Ok, What's the fastest vegetable? A runner bean.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Linda15 March 2013 at 12:43

    Nice humor on a snowy day.
    Be careful what you say ... The corn has ears!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crafty Gardener15 March 2013 at 12:45

      Oops, used the wrong sign in.
      What did one tomato say to the other tomato ... Ketchup.

      Delete
  4. Shirley15 March 2013 at 12:43

    Haha... very good!! More messy than a tomato on a tree branch beside a feeder I did a few years ago - brave you ;-) Sorry useless at jokes - have a fun weekend ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Donna@Gardens Eye View15 March 2013 at 16:35

    Needed a shot of humor as it is still snowing here.

    ReplyDelete
  6. HELENE15 March 2013 at 19:47

    Thanks, I needed that :-)
    It's been pouring down all day, I haven't been able to go outside in my garden. I can't remember any good vegetable jokes, sorry I am useless at jokes! Have a good week-end, despite the weather!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Janet/Plantaliscious15 March 2013 at 21:39

    Thank you for the giggles, sorry, nothing to contribute. Nothing clean or salad-related anyway!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dobby15 March 2013 at 21:42

    I'm not good at jokes either. I always get the punch line wrong. I enjoyed yours. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Angie15 March 2013 at 22:51

    I'm no good at jokes either but thanks for this cheery blog!

    ReplyDelete
  10. VP16 March 2013 at 07:36

    Hi everyone - glad this managed to raise a smile and a giggle ;D

    Jo - that's a good one :)

    Crafty Gardener - I'd forgotten those, thanks for the reminder and paying along :)

    Shirley - luckily I chose a tomato which wasn't very juicy. Things would have been very messy otherwise ;)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anna16 March 2013 at 15:02

    That first joke is as old as the hills but still makes me smile VP. I 'm hopeless at jokes but here's one courtesy of 'Waitrose Weekend'.
    ' How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down a hill'.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Unknown17 March 2013 at 12:31

    What's green and sings?

    Elvis Parsley.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Caro17 March 2013 at 12:50

    Ah if only my brother were here, he's a great one for jokes! These made me smile and I enjoyed your "knock knock" joke, the best ones never get tiring! Love the photo as well - my hort tutor at college managed to demonstrate tree planting with a Red Nose for Comic Relief on her nose throughout much to our amusement. £75 million is a staggering sum to raise in one day - shows what a great idea this is!

    ReplyDelete
  14. VP20 March 2013 at 15:37

    Anna and TSG - boom! boom!

    Caro - £600 million in 25 years - that's really making a difference :)

    ReplyDelete

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