Garden Centre Kitsch: Part Deux


Regular readers know I've got a bit of a love-hate relationship with my local garden centre. On the plus side they've started a garden plastic recycling scheme, which is very well used. However, they've outdone their selection of kitsch for this year by offering plastic topiary which doesn't even look like the real thing. Can you beat that for craziness?

Comments

  1. Rob (ourfrenchgarden)17 April 2009 at 08:42

    (((Plastic Topiary))) NO, no, no.

    Rob

    ReplyDelete
  2. Martyn Cox17 April 2009 at 08:46

    It looks like a grass gong. I think I saw one of those behind Carl Palmer's 80 piece drum kit on a documentary about Emerson, Lake and Palmer recently.

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  3. Victoria Summerley17 April 2009 at 08:49

    Ours does the same. I notice it's now cluttering up the check-out area, which I think means it's not selling very well. I'm not totally anti artificial plants. I used to have a diabetic cat who would knock over and smash any vase of flowers so she could drink the water. I used to have pots of fake orchids instead. But artificial topiary! Why bother?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hermes17 April 2009 at 08:49

    Couldn't have said it better Rob. No.

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  5. Anna17 April 2009 at 09:02

    That takes the proverbial biscuit VP - aaaaaaaaaagh !
    At least it does not require any pruning :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sylvia (England)17 April 2009 at 10:23

    I am lucky that my local garden centre is family run and a nursery as well. I haven't seen anything like this but I can imagine that non-gardeners would like to get the fashionable look with out the work. After all, horror of horrors - plants grow!!

    Best wishes Sylvia

    ReplyDelete
  7. Zoë17 April 2009 at 10:49

    That is the pits VP, WHO buys such things?

    ReplyDelete
  8. CanadianGardenJoy17 April 2009 at 11:34

    VP .. You are SO RIGHT girl ... that is just nasty ... on the other hand .. it would cheer up the recycle before it is RECYCLED ? haha

    ReplyDelete
  9. Renaissance17 April 2009 at 12:10

    We somtimes go to a truly lovely Norfolk pub in a gorgeous village, everything is perfect there - apart from the plastic topiary hanging globes - such a shame.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Flighty17 April 2009 at 12:13

    That is so naff! xx

    ReplyDelete
  11. Esther Montgomery17 April 2009 at 12:15

    A couple of months ago I saw smaller versions in hanging baskets either side of a front door.

    Ones as big as this one seems to be (or isn't it?) . . .well, you could chuck 'em around at children's parties, couldn't you? Or use them for Christmas decorations? Roll 'em up the street like tumble-weeds? That might be good fun. Use them to scrub out dustbins or clean chimneys?

    The possibilities are endless. Can't imagine what you are complaining about, VP!

    Esther Montgomery
    Esther's Boring Garden Blog

    ReplyDelete
  12. petoskystone17 April 2009 at 14:18

    that topiary takes ugly to a new level.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Mr. McGregor's Daughter17 April 2009 at 15:08

    LOL! I am now completely disabused of the notion that all Britons have good gardening taste. That thing looks like a Chiapet on steroids.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Arabella Sock17 April 2009 at 17:24

    That reaches a new level of garden centre hideousness! I shall make it my personal mission to try and find something to outdo it! LOL

    Oh dear - my WV is diaria!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Sol17 April 2009 at 18:09

    Did you look at the price tag? I couldnt believe my eyes when I saw those in Wyvale about a month ago. the come in 2 halves and when you buy them together they let you have it at the bargain price of £50.

    Nice, NOT!

    ReplyDelete
  16. our friend Ben17 April 2009 at 20:50

    Chia pet on steroids! HA!!!! Gads, I think it should star in its own horror movie. Do you remember that TV series "The Prisoner" where, when Patrick McGoohan tried to escape, they sent this bizarre rolling ball after him? Perhaps this could be the Monsanto version, waiting to attack us backyard gardeners if we dared do anything even vaguely organic or natural!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Esther Montgomery17 April 2009 at 21:54

    Whatever the cost - people do like them. I saw two more this afternoon, hanging outside a house . . . just sort of dangling there. If they were real, how would they be watered?

    Esther

    P.S. That Skimble in the side bar does look er, sort of familiar.

    P.P.S. I'm thinking of buying a gnome.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Esther Montgomery17 April 2009 at 22:01

    Sorry about this . . . but I keep wandering from the point I am truly trying to make . . . which is, that, however hard it is for us, we should be careful not to scorn the likes and tastes and pleasures of others (too much).

    There are real flowers and plants that I find terribly funny and am amazed anyone really wants in their gardens but . . . the 'but' being that I also know there aren't many people who would swap their gardens for mine.

    Esther

    ReplyDelete
  19. Elizabeth Musgrave17 April 2009 at 22:22

    Yuck, yuck, yuck - can't understand why anyone thinks this is ok. Sorry, probably a bit of a garden snob under my kindly exterior!

    ReplyDelete
  20. VP18 April 2009 at 08:41

    Hi - thanks for your all your comments - I'll reply slightly out of order and more generally if I may.

    Esther - you raise a good point about whether I should hold this up as an object of scorn when some people will actually like plastic topiary. You also gave an example of where it could be used when the real thing wouldn't be suitable. In one way I agree with you and perhaps I am being a snob.

    However, in this case aesthetics was just one aspect of the point I was trying to make. It's plastic and costs as much as the real thing (less than SOL quoted - £20 in this instance, though it was reduced) and it seemed a strange thing to have in a garden centre where most things are real and they do have a plastic recycling scheme. As far as looking after it is concerned, topiary's one of the most low maintenance aspects of gardening you can get. So for all those reasons it's a no-no in my view.

    Arabella - I look forward to seeing what you come up with.

    MMD and OFB - the YAWA team have been commissioned to discover all there is to know about Chia Pets as we don't have them over here. I understand they have discovered some real gems already. Who would have known they could be so controversial?

    OFB - The Prisoner was one of my favourite programmes and your description of a mmade me laugh so muc. If you ever come over to the UK, you must visit Portmeirion as that's where it was filmed and it's a spectacular place.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Esther Montgomery18 April 2009 at 08:53

    VP - I was meaning that where such things are kind of 'free-standing' . . . that they couldn't exist as real plants because there is no way they could be watered and that this is one of their more bizarre aspects. I wasn't suggesting they would be a good idea as a way of saving water!

    What if people took to hanging bunches of cut daffodils outside their houses?

    But I agree about these being inappropriate as items for sale in GARDEN centres. I mean, has anyone come across computer shops selling pretend computers or vegetable shops which sell plastic fruit?

    Esther

    ReplyDelete
  22. VP18 April 2009 at 08:57

    Esther - that's it exactly :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. James A-S18 April 2009 at 10:11

    If you have to do plastic topiary they could at least make it perfectly spherical.
    This sort of thing is infinitely preferable to a badly planted and unwatered hanging basket.
    Our local garden centre has a franchise selling incontinence products. Always good to know.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Gail18 April 2009 at 14:29

    VP, Now I am going to look for this stuff in the garden center...so far I haven't seen it! I have got to take you all around Nashville to show you Kitsch...not all is gardening related...but...you will "love" the tree that has been carved and painted to look like a guitar!

    Gail

    ReplyDelete
  25. "Daffodil Planter" Charlotte Germane18 April 2009 at 14:44

    Thanks for my Laugh of the Day! As MMD said, us Yanks think you Brits have such great garden taste....

    ReplyDelete
  26. VP19 April 2009 at 10:22

    Hello James - Bristol Temple Meads railway station has the answer to the hanging basket problem - plastic flowers! It's on my to do list for my public planting strand ;)

    Gail - are you trying to tempt me to Nashville or what! I think you need to post that as part of June's Out on the StreetsDaffodil Planter - oh dear I've let the cat out of the bag, we can be just as lacking taste as anyone else! ;)

    ReplyDelete

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