Psst! Soot Sir?

There's been a great deal of frivolity over at The Garden Monkey this week as Gardeners' Question Time has been going all out for a radio comedy award. Last Sunday's show was invaded by a madwoman from Glasgow, asking where she could get some soot. Despite Bob Flowerdew's dire warning of rampant dioxins in the soot of today owing to the burning of plastics, Monica (for it was she, complete with pseudo Prunella Scales accent) would not be swayed from her path and demanded the team should reveal their soot suppliers immediately. Do hurry and click on the GM link which contains the secret location of the remnant recording from this exchange, as it will be wiped forever sometime tomorrow. You will cry with laughter I promise.

Strange happenings have also been unfolding chez VP's plot lately. As previously reported, one of my nettle beds was treated with weedkiller. Since then, I've found a number of surprising things I didn't know I've had for the past four years. One of these is 20 bags of soot which I've now moved to round my compost bins as a temporary weed suppressing membrane to counteract the effects of the nettles growing there - composting in shorts has been a little tingly lately. Presumably these are the previous gifts supplied to my plot predecessor by 'the man from Sutton Benger' who delivers bags of soot to our site for us (but not me) to help ourselves to from time to time.

I'm tempted to go up there this afternoon and stick a price tag on 'em in case Monica gets wind there's soot around and heads up to my plot sharpish to help herself. Or perhaps she's my mystery nettle destroyer in the first place?


  1. you are just showing off and taunting me

  2. Monica Ridley picks up the soot in a hearth where a fire has been

    Lives in a dream

    Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door

    Who is it for?

    All the loopy people

    Where do they all come from?

  3. My dad brings me round the occasional present. The last one was a bag of soot from his chimney cleaning pursuits. Never say he doesn't give me anything! x

  4. GM - I think we've both been very naughty monkeys!

    TIMP - I hope you thanked him properly!


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