LAPCPADPOUB - A Celebration

Skimble is still my harshest critic when it comes to poetry...

When the idea of Lets All Post Cat Pictures and Dire Poetry on Our Blogs day was first mooted, I thought cats - yes can do that easily, but poetry? Oh dear, JAS has banned me from writing poetry after the great transatlantic sock wars. I've been flouting this openly ever since by posting my Magnetic Poetry anthology from 2004. I'm unchallenged thus far (perhaps JAS isn't reading my blog anymore - boo hoo), but I'm ready to argue the ban is to 'never, ever, ever, ever, ever write another poem' and I was in fact publishing archive, not fresh material.

But why am I being such a wuss? Hurrah, the inaugural LAPCPADPOUB day has released my chains and freed me from such despotic tyranny! I'm standing firm with my fellow brothers and sisters who are incensed that blogging about cats and writing bad poetry should be struck off from the ether! Why such censorship when even worse crimes are committed in the name of blogging? I'm aghast the myriad pictures and stories of knitting, garden tools, sitting (not to mention here, nor there) or telling bad jokes aren't treated with equal disdain and derision. Harrumph!

Bring back the birch, or exile to the furthest corners of the Empire*, I say. Even better, let's introduce deportations to secluded birch woods on the Isle of Man for the worst offenders. Let's...

But I digress.

Thus liberated and feeling much better about life, I sat down to write you a lovely new poem. Silence. No frantic tippety tap of the keyboard as usual. I was experiencing my first ever bout of writer's block. No words, meter or rhyme would enter my brain. Rien. Nada. Nothing. For all of oh, about 12 hours and I was asleep for 8 of those.

Then NAH told me a little something about Jess at breakfast on Thursday. That, swiftly followed by a brisk walk up the hill to Threadspider's for coffee and chocolate biscuits later on that morning, soon got the creative juices flowing again:

Our playful heroine

Our Jess has found a brand new game
To amaze and surprise us all
What's she doing? I hear you ask
Well, now she's playing football

Not for her some red dot to chase
Unlike her brother Skimble**
Not for her much quieter games
For example Hunt the Thimble.

For I've been drying firetongue beans
To send off here and there
But Jess espies a playtime treat
Especially for her

So now we lie awake at night
Hearing paws go pitter-patter
Across the kitchen floor below
As beans from tables scatter.

Some Beans

Now James, haven't you missed my awful poetry - just an eensy weensy tiny little bit? Yes? If not, then let fire and brimstone rain down on my head :p

LAPCPADPOUB is bought to you by Happy Mouffetard (HM), inspired by a Comment conversation with Arabella Sock. Do you think we should have the longest possible acronym contest next HM?

I'm listening to the theme tune to Top Cat from McPhee1969.

The pictures are subtitled, so I don't need to tell you what they are here.

And I can't tell you what I was writing about this time last year, because this blog wasn't even a twinkle in my eye at that point ;)

STOP PRESS! JAS is awarding prizes for LAPCPADPOUB entries! Let the kittenwars begin!

* = Empire Theatre Sunderland, for example. A well-known performance graveyard. They breed their audiences tough up North.

**= Skimble loves to chase a laser beam light; Jess thinks this is all rather old hat. The link is to a proper cat poem :)


  1. What a purrfectly, wonderful entry VP!
    I'm in full support of the event and will be mentioning it, and linking to here, in my entry later today. I'll include a kitten picture but pass on the dire poetry!
    Have a good day! xx

  2. Skimble is just gorgeous, as for footballing cats - after England's performance yesterday, I say bring them on!

  3. Sure fine winners! Both cats and poem. Perhaps we should make it a weekly event! LAPCATSUNDAY!

  4. Delightful post! And may I add, your bouts of inspiration created such a lovely poem. My compliments.

  5. Good Morning VP, Skimble and Jess
    It is just 8 AM here in Kingston .. coffee has not kicked in yet .. and turkey day is demanding attention .. so I have to get organized before I dip my toe into this event .. remember you are 5 hours ahead of me ? Your brain cells have probably lined up and fired all of this quite nicely compared to the frenzy of misfiring and sparking inside my head ? LOL
    I'll BE Back ! as Arnold keeps saying ! LOL
    Joy .. not awake yet ?

  6. Hi Flighty - I look forward to popping over later! You too! xx

    Zoe - NAH said I should have rhymed pitter-patter with Seth Blatter!

    Arabella - OK - now we have to find the words to fit the acronym!

    Hi Violet - good to see you again! And many thanks :)

    Joy - hope the Thanksgiving preparations are going well. Good of you to pop over on such a busy day :)

  7. Top quality poetry! Who can complain about that?

  8. I think a certain behatted one just might ;)

  9. Great entry VP and I think that JAS is crying in his hat, deeply regretting he ever banned you from writing any more of those wonderful poems. Skimble is kewt!

    BTW my post is up to, bring bucket!

  10. Good poem VP - definitely not dire enough :)
    I expect James will have to life his ban after this.
    Skimble and Jess are also looking very fine.
    Was the poem so "some beans" didn't feel left out?

  11. oppps typo
    should read
    "lift his ban on your poetry"

  12. I cannot compete on the cats front-being mogless as you know-and can't even begin to think of polite poetry about them after our conversation the other day.
    As an update, thought you might like to know one of my feline intruders was roundly stung by a hornet on Thursday evening.And I've found the nest of the latter. : O

  13. AG - well spotted! It was completely by accident as I wanted to illustrate the bean part of the poem, but as soon as it was there, the caption came to me. And how appropriate seeing who our hostess with the mostest is today!

  14. Sorry TS, didn't mean to leave you out. I'm looking forward to the full story later on in the week...

  15. VP, I can't imagine how you acquired the title of writing bad poetry--this is quite clever! And I do hope you got all those beans sorted once again.
    Perhaps I will join in later, but right now I, too, have writer's block.

  16. Geez, if I'd have known there'd be prizes for bad poetry, I'd have written something. Instead I posted a bad photo & a silly poem. I liked the bean-loving cat poem. This is such a silly meme.

  17. Yes - the some beans photo was noted - he was pleased with that!

  18. I am reading your blog assiduously but have chosen, up until now, to be tolerant of your poetry. However, after 'Jess espies a playtime treat...' I have changed my mind.

  19. cats, poems, football shout...purrfect!

  20. Catless here at this moment in time but have had had some fine feline companions in the past. Can I start a fan club for Skimble? Such an adorable puddy tat !

  21. I love that bean photo. I have a bit of a thing for beans.

  22. Rose - it was a self-nominated title and then the ForknMonkey awards confirmed 'tis so! I think it takes just as much skill to write bad poetry as that worthy of a poet laureate, but then I'm biased. It's a bit like Les Dawson's piano playing - bad but good!

  23. MMD - it's been such fun hasn't it? :)

    HM - so glad it was appreciated - it made me giggle!

    James - eek! I'm expecting fire and brimstone at any moment ;)

    Trisha xx - thought you'd like it :)

    Anna - one's already been started. Right here! You're very welcome to join :)

    Colleen - thanks. It was going to go into a very different post, but somehow the moment was just right for it here!


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